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The Baby Bjorn Bald Spot

Taken at 1:15:04 pm

Taken at 1:15:07 pm

(Times are approximate.)

It has become painfully obvious over this past week that what we have here is a Level 2 Klingon.

Level 2 you ask? While not as severe as a Level 1 (who will only be happy desperately clinging to Mom every minute of the day), Level 2s must be held by Someone every minute of the day. Sadly, in my case, there is little distinction, because 95% of the time I am the only option. And sadly for Eric (but happily for my sanity!) he is clung to 95% of the time he is home.

Makes me wish we lived closer to family, where there would be an abundance of willing arms. But this post isn’t to wax on about my homesickness. (I live in Manhattan! It’s 10 degrees warmer and 6 feet of snow less than MA! There is anything I want within a 3 block radius! I take George to poop in Riverside park and watch the barges roll down the Hudson! Or planes for that matter!)

Did someone say poop?

I’ve been thinking about my regrets about the last 10 weeks. Wondering if EJ hadn’t spent his first 6 weeks screaming and spewing sour milk, maybe we wouldn’t have spent all day and night holding him, soothing him. Maybe we would have tried baby chairs and mobiles sooner. Maybe he wouldn’t spend every night sleeping on my chest. (That’s right, not just in our bed, but on my chest. For weeks it was the only way I could get any sleep, and now I fear we have a very bad habit on our hands.)

I’m a firm believer in Do What Works, but holy god, I would love for something to work other than the Baby Bjorn. (Although, the Baby Bjorn is a lifesaver – it is by far his favorite carrier). He’s in the Baby Bjorn so much he has a bald spot where the back of his head rubs against the headrest. I wish I were kidding. I would take a picture for you, but he’s strapped to my chest (of course) and that makes taking pictures kinda difficult. Especially of him.

(The sleeping/napping/crib thing from a few weeks ago? Must have been a fluke. Or derailed by the vaccinations, because then he needed to be held for a few days straight cause he felt like crap, and there we are again, in the 24 hour holding pattern.)

I wonder how much is in his nature, and how much is a product of circumstance? Now that I know how to avoid making my milk POISON, will my 2nd child (a complete theoretical at this point – shudder) spend their first month happy and comfortable and be content chilling wherever I lay their swaddled little bottom down? Are all first children doomed to be experiments that we inevitably kinda screw up?

Anyway, this week has been a particularly tired one for me, and I’ve had to put the Endpaper Mitts on hold. It made me tired just looking at the tiny needles. Instead, I cast on (for the third time!) for a February Lady Sweater. Garter Stitch is just my speed right now. Plus it will be the first knitting I’ve done for myself in over 4 months, and right now, I need a little corner of the world that’s just for me.

This is the Brooks Farm Mas Acero I bought at Rhinebeck – the only thing I wanted to buy, and for this purpose nonetheless. (Crazy). I was worried about pooling, but it looks like it might just work out as lovely as it looked in the skein and wound up in the ball. (Fingers crossed.)

That is also the only patch of floor that is clean.


New Horizons

Stitchy’s not the only one exploring fabric love these days. I found this one in the clearance section on, and it’s called Knitmare on Elm Street.

I love it.

I believe it’s destined to become a nursing cover. I saw some nifty ones that have neck straps as to leave the arms free to hold baby and not worry about it slipping, and they look like it would be easy to whip one up at home. The longest part might be getting my sewing machine out of the closet and ready to use.

And while I’m nursing him, I can stare down adoringly at the cover and imagine what EJ will be like in about 10 years:

Wool pants (and scowl) included.

Super Secret Knitting

We’ve had a lovely couple of days here at Chez Pawlowski, with a cross country visit from Eric’s sister Dena and a whole family gathering yesterday.

Poor Dena has come from Los Angeles to New York to find some of the coldest weather imaginable for these parts, with wind chills below zero at times. I should feel bad for her, but it’s hard to drum up sympathy for someone who lives in one of the most pleasant climates on earth.

Even so, surprisingly, I’m not grumpy at all about being holed up in an apartment with an infant for days and days on end. I mean, it would be really nice to be able to go out and sit in a mild, sunny backyard with him once in a while – wait. I’m not even going down this path of thinking, or I’m going to start getting grumpy real quick.

One of the top searches for my site these days is “mom boobs”.


In any case, the super secret knitting is a pair of Endpaper Mitts for Dena’s Christmas present – no big or exciting news about it, I just couldn’t blog about them cause she would have seen it. I had hoped to finish them in time for her visit, but like most things I hope to accomplish these days, they’re taking a lot longer than I thought.

For example, it took me almost 2 and a half hours to write this post. Yup. You’d think that for that amount of time, it would be a more interesting post, but I’m just psyched I got a post up at all. I take my victories where I can get them.

Riding High

I’ve tried to write this about 5 different ways, and each time I stop, thinking that the universe is going to slap me down for my hubris. But really, I know that this has NOTHING to do with me, or anything that I’ve done, and I am just ebullient at what’s been happening.

EJ has been napping. And sleeping. And not spewing up crazy amounts of milk. (Okay, that last one’s me. I don’t eat tomatoes.)

But the napping? A week ago EJ would flip out if I wasn’t holding him all the time. This week? I plop him in the crib under his new mobile and Mom Who? Check out that cool black circle with a red dot! It’s hilarious! And mesmerizing! Like hypnosis that makes him incredibly happy and sleepy all at the same time.

Link to video of squeaking cooing cuteness. Also, EJ rips one at the end. Cracks me up every time, because obviously I am 8 years old at heart.

I wasn’t even trying to put him down for a nap, I was just trying to put him down for 2 minutes while I took care of some bathroom business and I came back into the room and he was drifting off to sleep. Seriously, this has happened twice now – Monday at nap time and last night at bed time. I could have smacked myself in the face, because he had a huge load in his pants too, and I knew I couldn’t leave him in there too long. (We compromised – I let him lay in it for about 45 minutes when he started to stir… and I don’t feel bad about it.)

Anyway, score one for my mother, who bought us the mobile over Christmas and in her infinite motherly wisdom knew that it would be a lifesaver.

Right. On.

And now that I have spoken of it, I know it will never happen again. Also, EJ goes for his first set of vaccinations tomorrow and then we have houseguests all weekend so I know I’m in for a rough couple of days. I really hope he’s feeling better by the time his visitors arrive.

Last night, in the happy time I was granted by the mobile I worked on my super secret knitting project. I still can’t talk about it (soon!) but I can gush (I’m in a gushing mood, can you tell?) about my new KnitPicks Harmony dpn set. Amazing. Smooth, strong, flexible (still talking about needles here. Knitting needles.) they make me very very happy. I’ve never been a huge fan of dpns, but I am a convert. I can see how people wouldn’t mind, or daresay even LIKE using them for socks.

So I suppose you dpn lovers aren’t all crazy. My bad.

Doesn’t hurt either that they’re so pretty.

One Handed

I have knitting – actual cool, photo worthy knitting – but it has to wait because it is super secret right now. It’s pretty frustrating, because my fingers went numb the last month I was pregnant, and I didn’t get full feeling back until about a week ago… so to finally be able to knit, have cool knitting on the needles, AND be back blogging… and NOT be able to blog about it? Right?

I should really take that back. I have a 7 week old baby. Not being able to blog about my knitting is the least of my frustrations. I’m typing one-handed right now as I hold the screaming succubus after he woke up from his twenty minute nap. That’s how long it took him to realize I wasn’t holding him any longer. Happily enough, just long enough for a PB&J and to clean up the kitchen from last night and this morning.

That’s what we’re working on this week: EJ sleeping without somehow being attached to me. Not all the time, I’m okay with most of the snuggling an infant needs*. Just one. One nap a day where I can go to the bathroom NOT wearing a baby. Straighten the apartment up. Knit without fear of poking him with dpns, which, when near a baby look more like eye-gouging, soft-spot-piercing, mini-impalers that would make old Vlad himself proud.

Last week we mastered burping. I have high hopes for naps.

*In fact I like it. He smells good, and makes sweet little baby noises, and has the nicest smiles when he’s all snuggled up with me.

The Return of B.O.B.

Remember this?

The super easy and comfy sweater I knit a few years ago and took forever to write up the pattern? Yup. I finally had the time and mental capacity to set the pattern up as a pdf download from Ravelry for $1. You do not need to be a member of Ravelry to make the purchase. :)

That is all.

Motherhood: Nature’s Boob Job

At 6 weeks postpartum, all the effects of pregnancy are supposedly reversed and you are theoretically plain old human again. I just hit this milestone, and for the most part it’s held true for me. There’s one or two not-so-pleasant lingering effects of the pregnancy, but I trust that in time they’ll fade, and there are some surprisingly happy side effects.

Mainly, my perky new mom boobs.

They actually make me feel okay about the 10 pounds I still have to lose, because they make me look curvy, instead of just chubby which is how I’d look without them. I’ve always had the figure of a 12 year old boy, so you can imagine how thrilled I am about this.

Sadly, sometimes my new mom boobs aren’t so great. EJ has let us know that he hates it when I eat cabbage, onions, grapefruit, or tomatoes. Unfortunately, his primary form of communication is screaming his head off, and spewing copious amounts of sour milk everywhere. You’d think that would make it pretty clear that his stomach hurt, but it took us awhile to figure it out. In fact, we just figured out the tomato thing yesterday. (In case you’re wondering, no, yesterday was Not Fun.)

Anyway, today is the official end of The Seclusion, and I’m putting myself back into the world. Thanks everyone for all your super kind emails and comments while I was ‘away’. It made me feel Not Alone, even when I hadn’t left the apartment for 18 days straight.